I’m okay. I jumped, and I’m okay. Someone found me, sitting on the street, crying my eyes out. The building was not that high and I fell on a bunch of mattresses some random person dumped there. So I guess I need to live for some reason. I need to change a few more lives before I’m done.
I’m cursed you know. I’m cursed in a way that no one can understand, because if I make them understand, they fall to this curse. What kind of curse is that? I hear you thinking this. Well, everyone that comes close to me, the real me, dies. Mostly it would look like an accident, but sometimes they’d just drop dead. Of course the curse is not physically, otherwise the kind woman that found me would have been dead by now. My mom, my dad and my big sister died the day I was born, car accident. At least, that is what they’ve told me. I don’t know if that is true. The moment they saw me, they fell in love and that is where this went downhill. I had to stay in the hospital overnight, and mom really needed to get home and get me some stuff, that is why I wasn’t in the car with them. That is where the curse began. At least, that is what I always thought.
Every foster family I’ve lived with, there would be someone that really liked me or even loved me, and the instant that happened, they died. They all couldn’t handle a child and a death in the family, that is why now, I live in an orphanage. No one cares over here and no recent deaths to be recorded. Oh yes, I record these deaths. They are all in my little black notebook, date, time, every important detail I’ve written down in there. If anyone ever gets their hands on this notebook, they’d think I murdered them all. And maybe I did, maybe the curse did. I’ve always believed that it was this curse that no one could stop. No one could ever love me enough to just counter this curse and that it would all go away. So, I’ve started to do a little research.
I currently have a boyfriend, Jeremy, and I’m starting to really fall in love with this guy. That is why I’ve wanted to jump in the first place. I don’t want him to die. I don’t want to trigger the curse on him. If I could just run away, he would forget about me and he could be living a long, full live. But I can’t, I have no car, no money of my own (well, I have a trust I can access when I’m eighteen, but I’m sixteen now so that doesn’t buy me much) and I have no place to go. So, I will have to stay away from Jeremy, to prevent him from some horrible accident.
First, let me tell you a bit about myself. My name is Emmaline Monachopsis and I am sixteen years old. I live in this weird little town in Georgia, which is called Graycott. I guess the last name gave it away already – Monachopsis means ‘the subtle but persistent feeling for being out of place’ – well, out of place I am. The last name came from my biological parents and that is all they’ve left me besides the trust fund. It does sound very big, a trust fund, but I have absolutely no idea how much is in there. I think it is not much, since the last few years in this orphanage needed to be paid and they took money out of my trust.
I’ve got my own little room, with a bed, a desk, a chair and an even smaller bathroom. It’s not much but I will have to manage for another 2 years. My room is rather empty besides books and my clothing being everyone. I never buy my own clothes, I always get the hand me downs from the other girls and that is fine with me. They fit perfectly, since I’m a little small for my age. The only things I’d like to buy for myself are books and hair dye. My hair is mostly blonde, but I always like to dye the tips a different color. And with the pocket money that I get every week, I can just manage to do just that. Buy a book once a month and dye my hair every week.
I love reading, so one book a month is never enough, but I can always borrow my books in the school library. When I’m not with Jeremy or researching the curse, I’m reading. I bring a book with me everywhere I go and I read whenever I can. I like young adult books, mostly sci-fi and dystopian. Illuminae by Jay Kristoff and Amie Kaufmann is my favorite series. I’d like to be as smart as Kady.